The Mega-Zine Museum
July 29, 1999
PRINCESS OF BUBBLES The purpose of barbie dolls is to give people anti-social ideas about what girls should look like. All out there — decapitate her! Don't lose your head over it!
NINJA HAMSTER Compromise is failure. I don't believe you. And I've failed to compromise. Ha!
MYSTERIOUS CHIK Having gained an A* in English GCSE, I think I know how to spell "chik" correctly. It's a good job the examiner couldn't spell either.
CHANGING PRODUCTS
Why are the names of products always changing? Remember the good old days when Starburst was called Opal Fruits and Snickers were Marathons?
Then Coco Pops went to Chocco Krispies and back to Coco Pops, which is a much better name.
And how come Fruit gums aren't hard anymore? They're all soft and squidgy and it's wrong, I tell you.
I swear it's a conspiracy to confuse us.
Purple Gunge Chick
Oh, it's not like the
YAKITY-YAK INTERACTIVE TALKBACK p207
'ZINERS
Me and my toy mobile phone have fooled so many people recently. There was the "it's for you" joke, then "let's get a pizza", which never arrived.
And then the "oh, I've got a call, excuse me", when I met boring people. I love my toy mobile phone.
Eau Rouge
Now everybody knows...
YOU'RE A PHONEY!!!
OLD PROVERBS
I had a friend once who always said:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."
He was killed when an Asda sign fell on his head.
Nuclear Turnip From Liverpool
At least he didn't
BREAK ANY BONES!
LONESTAR
I love salt and vinegar crisps. They totally rule. I just adore danger.
I want to be a storm chaser whose hobbies are bungie-jumping, parachuting snow-boarding and mountain climbing.
I love martial arts and motor racing, too.
Scooter from the devils garden shed
There you go. Live dangerously —
EAT SALT AND VINEGAR CRISPS!
