The Mega-Zine Museum
July 2, 1999
KWEEN KAT Pick a number, any number. Twelve zillion, one hundred million, million, million, fifty thousand, five hundred and two. What now? This better be worth it!
NINJA HAMSTER Originality is often misunderstood as insanity. No fears of seeing you in the nuthouse, then!
PUZZLE PIECE People say "antidisestablishmentarianism" is the longest word in the dictionary. So why can't I ever find it? Try finding a dictionary without pictures!
MY SCHOOL REPORT
English: This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
Maths: Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat.
Science: It's hard to believe she beat the other 1,000,000 sperm.
PE: This student should go far and the sooner she starts, the better.
Health Education: I would not allow this girl to breed.
Nude Photo
You know what I'm going to say...
PC STU
Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why are you so obsessed with Lara Croft? She's a computer-generated bimbo!
I'm 10,000% more woman than she could ever be!
This means war, honey!
Stove's Secret Tinker XXX
I have been trying
TO TELL HIM THIS FOR A LONG TIME!
HELLO, I'M JON THE POSTMAN
And after all of your pesky letters I have to deliver, I've decided I should tell you all exactly what I think of you.
My God, I bet you're all going to them musical festival things; those overmarketed, middle-class dominated efforts where people mainly go for the "I went there" factor.
Pah, humbug!
Jon the Postman (PLEASE REMEMBER TO USE THE POSTCODE)
Whose ticket to Glastonbury got
GOT LOST IN THE POST?
HEY BORING MUG FANATIC 'ZINERS
Well, I had a really irritating mug once, and shall I tell you what I did, 'Ziners?
I smashed it on the floor and jumped all over its red, unworthy remains... Ha! Ha! Mwha! Ha! Ha! (Evil smug cackle).
So Boo Hoo to you! Nerrgh! Nerrgh! Nerrgh! Nah! Nerrgh!
Lots of sweet, innocent love,
Giggly Groupie
I gotta agree, this mug thing is
GETTING A LITTLE TIRESOME!
