The Mega-Zine Museum
June 2, 1999
TEENYBOPPER Life's problems No2 — One measly chocolate bar has 350 calories. Yes but if you eat nothing else you can have at least 10 without getting fat!
ABSTRACT AURA Does anyone else get bored with being asked "How are you?" by total strangers? No, but I do get sick of being slapped by that little old lady at the bus stop.
KYLIE FAN You're only interested in publishing damaging, untrue comments and trying to destroy multi-talented Kylie's career! If only...
DEAR 'ZINERS
The other day at school I placed my Marilyn Manson badge on my bag. All day I had kids shouting abuse at me for supposedly being evil.
"That's right I am evil," I told Year Seven pupils, who constantly make jokes about shootings.
The bus home — an argument involving me and a bunch of trendies on MM being evil, even though they hadn't heard any of his tunes.
The Jacobean Skate Punk
Good job Year Seven
'ZINERS
Surely they got it all wrong...
It must be: "Eat, well, food usually; sleep, well, sometimes, okay, occasionally not at all and with someone if you're lucky; and drink, probably too much".
But I don't see how koalas come into all this. It's really a bit of a mystery to me.
Eau Rouge
It's obvious really,
THEY'RE A SYMBOL OF WORLD UNITY
TO THE 'ZINE COMMUNITY
What have I done to deserve so many enemies? Ah, I get it! Anyone who is popular or famous deserves abuse.
Okay, I forgo popularity. I leave my money to WLW for letting me sniff his hair, the house to PC Stu for his faith, and to Wild Bill I leave the Scion and hounds for sharing similar experiences.
I'm going to end it all, I hope you're all pleased with yourselves.
Lara Croft
There is no hair-sniffing
ON THIS PUBLICATION, YOUNG LADY
'ZINERS
Earth, the shattered spine,
Glass, the pain.
Where's the dark, dark passage?
Who is there?
Man, fire, man...
Who is there?
Cots at dawn,
Who is there?
The Man From Uncool
Yeah... I get you...
IT'S DEEP, MAN!
