The Mega-Zine Museum
May 19, 1999
EL GRINGO Back once again with the red-haired master, G for ginger and power to the people. No, G is for go back indoors with that lurid hair colour.
SSCOTT Look at me! I'm the drama queen if dat's you thang baby. AHHHHHhhhhhh! The scary ginga-headed freakazoide is back to haunt us! See, everyone agrees with me.
UFO Hi I'm a ginga too. Do people think you're thick because you're ginger? They do with me. More proof, if any were needed.
Dear 'Zine
I saw them.
Just for a second there they were. It was too late, I was already leaving.
I stopped and turned round to find them again but it was too late, they had already gone.
I couldn't write, I don't have the right.
I know how you feel, I can never
FIND A PEN WHEN I NEED ONE.
GOOD THINGS ABOUT ME
I have very red lips with a pout. I have scarily green eyes with a distant gaze and long black lashes.
I have grace, elegance, poetry in my soul, creation at my fingertips and more wit and intelligence than I let on.
Soup On A Sausage Peg
...and modest with it
NO DOUBT...
HEY 'ZINERS
What's everyone's favourite way of laughing?
Now the more traditional "Ha Ha Ha" has gone out of fashion, I've adopted the closed-mouthed "Hmm Hmm Hmm".
This involves relaxing your eyes and keeping your hands in your pockets.
It's a more casual approach but does it come across as smug?
MC Muffin
If it takes this long for the laugh
HOW LONG FOR THE NONCHALANT SHRUG?
PICTURE THIS —
A three-year-old sits stencilling animals. He picks up a fish-shaped stencil and proclaims: "It's a fiss!".
Now, I cannot stand him being right, so I tell him: "No it's not, it's an elephant".
Okay, so he was being clever but I was being creative; I was giving a small creature a chance to be large.
Naff Nymph
I don't know... misleading the next
GENERATION... LET'S HAVE MORE OF IT!
