The Mega-Zine Museum
March 28, 1999
NAFF NYMPH Bonjour, Je veux parler Francais, mais je suis not very good at it. Oh bother. Nice try.
MEAT PI A sentence that has more than one exclamation at the end will attract a lot of attention despite being written by someone clinically insane!!! Works for me!
FREAK GIRL Help me! My handwriting is turning into my mother's. It's horrible. I'm turning into my mother, no! I refuse to get involved in family disputes.
DEAR 'ZINERS
I am very confused. If a boy tells his friends that he likes you and makes it clear himself, why doesn't he just ask you out?
Also, if you ask someone out and they say yes, do they say yes just because you asked or do they really fancy you but were too scared to ask you out?
And why did it take 10 months for a boy who I gave my number to, to phone me?
Freak Girl
Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh,
SWEET MYSTERIES OF LIFE
A TRAGIC LOVE STORY
I fell in love with an alien being, whose skin was like jelly and whose teeth were green.
The days were numbered, nights were spent in a rent-free oxygen tent.
We walked out, tentacles in hand. We knew that the earthlings would not understand.
So, in a cybernetic fit of rage, she transported herself to another age.
Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
An edited version —
THE REST WAS JUST TOO UPSETTING
SPEECH
I've had loads of letters printed on Mega-zine. I've actually become a regular 'Ziner. I used to read this page as a kid and I've had one of my life's ambitions fulfilled.
Other people aspire to appearing on TOTP or winning an Oscar, but they are so out of date. Mega-zine is where it's at.
I wanna thank my fans (hi Kate), my friends (hi Kate) and The Manic Street Preachers (of course).
I thank you!
Kohl Scuttle
And the winner is...
WLW!!! YEEEEEEHHHH!!!
TO SEPHIROTH
You and I are quite similar! We were both defeated by foolish mortals; we have both been resurrected and we both want to dominate this pitiful world.
So, I am asking you, Sephiroth, to let me join you in your quest for world domination! Together we can show these pathetic inhabitants of this tiny planet the real meaning of power and of pain!
So, Sephiroth, are we to join?
Sauron
Now, I want you to take turns and
PLAY NICELY
