The Mega-Zine Museum
March 13, 1999
SPOOKY PERSON Evil man is coming. Hide!!! Don't worry it's just Alan Titchmarsh... on second thoughts.
VENUS FLY TRAP Most annoying things in the universe: Boys who have armpit hair (it's not big and it's not clever). I hate to be the one to break it to you but... the poor dears don't do it on purpose.
RANDOM GULP When walking round a field at night, watch out for sleeping cows! Why, do they do anything particularly interesting?
THE EPITAPH OF A COMMERCIALIST REJECT
She spent all her money on cheap French wine.
She hung around wiv' her mates, who she phoned all the time.
They sung on the bus and they danced in the street.
They wore designer garments from their heads to their feet.
All of the trendies must learn the facts,
find the real you without a label attached.
How would I know where I was without my
'THIS SIDE UP USE NO HOOKS' LABEL?
CHIPS,
Whose idea was it to call them chips? Did the guy who invented them think:
"Hey, these rectangular lumps of potato taste nice, I think I'll call them... chips!"
Was he mad? Who was he? Who was responsible for this strange act of wierdness?
CAPTAIN FISH
You don't think it could simply be
THAT THEY ARE CHIPS OF POTATO?
'ZINERS
"Oh look at me! Look how kooky and alternative I am! Oh golly my life is full of strife. Oh what a cute 'nom de plume'"
You sad drearies... instead of engaging in the inane whinings you seem to be SO fond of, why don't you take a look at yourselves and cease confirming the stereotypes.
Stop being so middle-class... go out once in a while.
DAN EEKA
Sorry can't, just too busy eating
QUICHE AND DRINKING MY CHARDONNAY...
WLW
Wow! your job must be amazing. How do you go about getting a job like yours? Man you must be soooo happy!
'Zineyboppers, can you imagine being paid to look at letters from teenagers and then write a smart-arse comment at the bottom?
I can only dream that when I leave school I will find a cool job like yours.
Frankie James
Hey do you think this pays the rent?!
IN MY OTHER LIFE I'M A BODY DOUBLE.
