The Mega-Zine Museum
March 11, 1999
NUDE PHOTO I love scavengers but pigeons can stay strangers. Did you hear about the revolutionary pigeons? They were planning a coup!
CUMMIFLUX AND WONDERGIRL Nobody loves a geep. Hey, what's with all that strange lettering?
RANDOM GULP A tartan patchwork cross ate my plate of chips. No "please", no "thank you". You'd think manners had never been invented. It's a tough, unfeeling world out there, just try and stay strong!
HEY Y'ALL (HELLO ALL OF YOU)
Welcome to your American lesson. I am your new teacher. We will start with the basics:
I'm so fly - I am very fantastic.
Don't be trippin' - Don't worry.
My homie - My dear friend.
Your hood - Your neighbourhood.
Hey man, what's up? - Hello my friend, how are you?
You ho! - You're not a very nice girl now, are you?
Thank you, I am impressed with your good behaviour today.
The Impure Maiden
GOVERNMENT WARNING: The use of American
slang could get you beaten up!
'ZINERS
To the lovely soul who recently expressed his/her fear about the demise of music, due to all the different chord patterns being used up.
You really don't have to worry, music will live forever (unlike us)! We musicians will always find a way of reusing old chord patterns. I mean, just look at Oasis!!! Hee Hee Hee.
Love, peace, and toasted marshmallows.
The Llama Farmer
Oasis are almost as unoriginal as
Mr Farmer's humour here!
DEAREST JACOBEAN BOUNTY HUNTER
As much as I love you...
Anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better than you!
Lara "I can also make up long nonsense names" Croft, who does not fancy that damn technician; doesn't have a banana fetish; who laughs at that fat one from Manics; who is constanly annoyed by WLW; TJ (You know who you are); KT, who secretly loves TJ, who is the illigitimate child of the latter, latter, latter.
As much as I love your rock-climbing
abilities, you've lost it mate!
DEAR 'ZINERS
What is it with me? It takes years for a girl to like me and when someone sees me as more than a friend they're already taken. Life is starting to suck worse than my grandmother sucking eggs (source: Book Of Cliches, Volume 142).
Perhaps I should stay madly in love with Eco Warrior Fox Girl. But that will no doubt bring rejection along life's cobbled stones once again.
The Ickle Strawberry Moose
I only printed this as an example
of how sad self pity looks!
