Mega-Zine
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November 18, 1998

GRUNGE GHOST I love Megazine. It's so cool. I love your witty comments too. Only, enough flattery, please will you print my letter? Only the best bit.

HYPERSTAR Indie Kidder, I would love to go to such a party but no-one would know I exist because SOMEONE won't print my letters. Who? The swine!

ZIGGY O'BAOIL Nicky Wire is God. On the eighth day God said: "Blow this, boyo, I'm gonna play bass." I can't see it. God ain't tall enough to be Nicky Wire and anyway, where's the beard?

 

SPOT SONG (Part 1)

Little red volcanoes,
Waiting to erupt,
Shiny, sore and scabby,
Swollen full of pus.

Fingers reach to pinch the skin,
The zit begins to leak,
Yet nothing pops so bravely I say:
"It is not for now, but it'll keep!"

Myopic Melon.

This poem you've done, about your zit,

We love verse one, but verse two!

 

DEAR WLW,

Are you ancient (like me) enough to remember the following TV programmes?

  1. Graham's Gang
  2. The Space Sentinels
  3. Pipkins
  4. The Flumps
  5. Bod

PS Whatever happened to that golden hare everybody was looking for in the early '80s?

The Old Duffer.

No. We had no telly when I was a boy.

There was a war on, you know.

 

DON'T WORRY, EDUCATION GETS BETTER,

The tiresome drudgery, which most call GCSEs, passed this summer with no stress-related suicides.

At the end of a long, hard campaign my wrists were unscathed and there was a full bottle of paracetamol in the bedside cabinet.

I'm at college now. If that sounds like hard work there's always the opposite sex when maths gets dull.

The Cloven Hoof

A maths student who thinks he can pull?

Now that's what I call naive!

 

DEAR TMBGE'S BOYFRIEND,

Are you serious? How can you say we should scrap the age of consent?

If we did, we'd have pregnant 12-year-olds running all over the place. People under 16 are not emotionally or physically ready to have sex and deal with the commitments that go with it.

The age of consent is for our own good, not to interfere with our private lives.

Princess Leia'a Hair.

I know plenty of over 16s, nay over 30s

who still aren't ready!