The Mega-Zine Museum
September 13, 1998
THE FOO FIGHTING, MILK DRINKING BUMBLE BEE Who invented milking a cow, and what did they think they were doing. Well it's a natural kind of action...
BAD ACTRESS Ever felt so sick with hunger you can't eat? Too tired to sleep? Too depressed to cry? Life is full of paradoxes. And the pain. Oh the pain never ends. Ever. Just pain. Pain.
THE FLIRT How u all doin'? By the way, WLW, I luv u. That's all. You flirt. If I wasn't so super cool I'd blush.
DEAR 'ZINE,
The other day I was sitting on a bench and I began itching in an embarrassing place. I went to a toilet to have a scratch, only to find I had an ant in my pants!
I didn't realise that this really can happen. And no, my bellybutton didn't dance.
Anyone else had obscure phrases come true?
Venus Fly (ant, surely) Trap.
Lucky the expression is ants.
What if it was horses or something!
A POEM ABOUT WORK:
I work in a 24hr-convenience store,
I do the nightshift,
Which is not good,
Why?
Because,
After about 11pm,
Nobody wants ANYTHING,
Apart from sleep,
Which,
Unfortunately,
We don't sell.
Incidental South Park Resident no.132.
Megazine - I just can't hack it,
Empty days, empty wage packet.
'ZINEY BOPPERS,
I have always wondered why people who call themselves animal-lovers watch Animal Hospital or similar programmes.
I think these shows are made by sick people who enjoy watching animals suffer.
People who love animals and watch are merely torturing themselves. Why?
Frankie James.
I'd rather see animals in pain than
hear Rolf Harris sing!
DEAR PEACH,
So why are you called Peach?
Because you have a heart of stone?
Because your face reminds people of a backside?
Because it is an anagram of cheap?
Or is it because you like being covered in cream and... (Yes, I think we get the idea).
Monsieur Yes.
If your hair drops out will change
your name to nectarine?
