The Mega-Zine Museum
February 22, 1998
ANTI-SPICE My sister reads Smash Hits. (She has a lot to learn). The other day I saw on the front page the headline "We'd be ugly girls" by Hanson. But now I'm confused. I thought they were ugly girls!?! I actually thought they were a good band. We all make mistakes.
NINJA HAMSTER I have found the most pintless word in the English language to be: 'giblet'. I know of two more pointless words: Hamster and Ninja. What do you think?
'ZINERS
Here's a novel idea for some of you: Trendies are not necessarily bad people! Just because they like a certain style of clothes or music doesn't make them worthy of your hatred.
And for those who are really sheep-like or conformist, don't criticise - just pity. And anyway don't we all follow some kind of trend?
The Maid of the River
Wow!! That really is
A HARD-BACKED IDEA.
'ZINE
I lay on my bed. Staring up into the darkness of my cell, letting my mind wander into the dusty recesses of my sub-conscious.
I have no account of when my sentences started, I have lost track of time. My body is disfunctioning and numb. It needs sleep. I close my eyes trying to shut out the images, the screaming shapes and colours that seem inprinted on the insides of my eye-lids.
I'm a prisoner in my own mind.
Patterned Mattress
I just have one question: Where
DID YOU LEAVE THE KEY???
TO 'ZINE
I am sorry to say it but 'Zine has become a monotonous repetition of restrained low-key vomit-inducing drivel.
AFKA Gonzo the all-embracing satirical liberator brings only minor relief when his beyond genius work caresses these pages, although when it does it is countered by the myriads of inert letters.
One band is never going to win overall. In the beginning it was witty, now it's boring.
The Girl with the Large.... Vocab
I think your name really is The girl
WITH THE LARGE AFKA GONZO FAN-CLUB.
LONG HAIRED PUNK BOY IN COMBATS
I have witnessed a strange phenomenon, and felt compelled to write in telling of this marvellous discovery.
On a recent pilgrimage up north to see Spacehog, I discovered that there are:
NO PUFFY JACKETS IN SHEFFIELD!
Quite frankly, I am amazed.
Dr Suers
I too am at a loss for words.
COULD THIS BE TRUE?!?!
