The Mega-Zine Museum
July 30, 1997
THE POOR DOWN TRODDEN TYPSIT says the horses have been returned and RODNEY is now in a stable condition.
WOMBERS has vanished! If found please return her to the 'Zine or the nearest fax terminal.
RODNEY SAYS someone tell Gonz that the 'Zine won the punch up with Backchat. We have all the posh people.
GRIZELDA GLUM is counting the hours to the GCSE results.
DEAR 'ZINESTERS
Have you ever noticed in all-action films the hero is running in slow motion, muscles a-pumping, while a fiery explosion occurs in the background forcing him to dive into a ditch or some such receptacle.
It was repeated in Con Air and I was forced to bellow with laughter in the cinema.
Directors — some imagination please.
Vomage Frais
You bellowed with laughter did you?
I BET THE CINEMAGOERS LOVED YOU!!
GREETINGS MORTALS
It is Shaitan again asking a very serious question:
Why do girls wear puffer jackets over a crop top and mini skirts in high summer?
This question has been taxing my vast intellect for many years now. I will pay the first man who can answer this in green Smarties.
Shaitan the Unborn
Offering Smarties as a reward everyone
KNOWS ONLY SMARTIES HAVE THE ANSWER!
TO ALL
A garlic epidemic is seriously needed to get rid of all these Goths and Vampires on the 'Zine and give us newies a chance.
Just stop Marilyn Manson. To quote Spinal Tap "How much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black."
I thank you
Long Haired Punk Boy in Combats
Do we want to scare the other 'Ziners
AWAY WITH OUR DODGY BREATH THOUGH?!!
HOW TO LEAVE THE PLANET
- Phone NASA, ask for the work experience kid and explain you really must leave asap.
- If that doesn't work ask around the Kremlin if only to spite NASA.
- If you get really desperate, flag down the nearest UFO and explain that it's vitally important you leave before your phone bill arrives.
The Sleepy Psychopath
Did those Mars pictures really seem
THAT EXCITING — GO ON STAY HERE!!!
