The Mega-Zine Museum
July 14, 1997
GIRL IN LOVE WITH A BASSOON wants to start a band but knows nobody who can play and instrument except the flute and can't afford to buy any. She needs some help. What can she do?
HEY CAT KILLER Stop killing cats or I'll set my pet tiger on to you. love PINK BLOSSOM.
CAT WITH THE KINK IN HER TAIL wants to get her claws into a man and the new Oasis single. Scratch that then!
DEAR 'ZINE
The one thing that annoys me in life is the fact that our cars are stolen even if they are locked, but Fox Mulder of the X Files never locks his car - yet it never gets pinched.
It's just not fair.
Chair of Destiny
Perhaps he is DRIVEN by demons to
SCULLY AWAY FROM HIS CAR!
TO ALL 'ZINERS
The other day I got so tired that when I finally nodded off, I woke up again. I then saw my Liam doll swinging to and fro in a different place in my room.
Funny thing was it was swinging on top of my Liam poster. After a few seconds it floated back in front of Jarvis and stopped swinging.
Blue Raisan
So it's true Liam does love himself
MORE THAN THE COMMON PEOPLE!!!
REASONS TO HATE FESTIVALS
Festivals are nothing more than thousands of mud encrusted indie kids leaping up and down in a field still covered in the by products of a cow.
You can usually see these cows in a nearby paddock, looking traumatised as they listen to Paul Weller's decade long guitar solos.
Ephemera
Why don't you sit under a cow?
IN CASE YOU GET A PAT ON THE HEAD!!!
DEAR MEGAZINE
I've finally worked out why students love the Teletubbies.
Look closely: they live in a hole, eat nothing but toast, talk gibberish and see weird pink sparkly stuff everywhere.
Just sit them in a Uni bar and could you tell the difference? I think not...
Dr Edward "LaaLaa" Crane, GATsB KUKU (Kach.U)
Well they all seem a bit Dispy and
SPEND THEIR TIME IN LAALAA LAND!
