The Mega-Zine Museum
June 16, 1997
CHID Trang the orangutang,
Had a very good plan,
But no matter how hard he tried,
He always died, he'll never be as old as his nan.
You aping Myopic?
THE POETIC 1 beginning to panic... Did anyone sit His A level? Did the topics you revise fail to come up? Am I alone. Yes, ALL alone, the ONLY 1.
MALEVOLENT ANARCHIST Sunflower; respect your idea of hugging depressed-looking guys. But if they were ugly? I'd prefer to beat them up, self-pitying New Age sensitive types. 90s man, dead man?
TO 'ZINE READERS
I am in the process of failing my GCSEs, I have no money, a really obsessive guy has declared his undying love for me and my pet rat bit my ear today.
Yet I am feeling great! The reason? Inside my head a rogue cell has locked onto the mmmbop wave produced by Hanson.
They are forcing me to mmmbop and dewop my way through my problems, emerging the other side as a cheerful blond haired prat.
Sometime Angle
There's a place called Ward 140
BUT YOU WON'T FIND MUCH HELP THERE!
REASONS WHY MARILYN MANSON MING...
- They're not scary in the least
- The lead singer's called Brian. And he's not scary either. That contact lens doesn't fool anyone boyo!
- They're goths.
The Crow
Accusations of Goth? The kettle calling
THE BIRDIE BLACK! (or something...)
CAN I JUST SAY...
I'm a big arcade fan, but have never, ever worn a puffy jacket. Nor will I ever want to.
Oh, and another type of person who hangs around arcades: thick-looking bald git with attractive girlfriend in tow. She looks SO bored while he plays Daytona or X-Men vs Sf. And if she's ever forced to play, say SF2, she'll always be Chun Li.
My ambition is to rescue one of the damsels in distress.
(no name? I name you Puffin the Mule)
What you'd like is fit babes with ugly
MEN IN TOW, EH? ALTHOUGH BALDING...?
DEAR 'ZINE
I know I've been a bit slow - but I'd just like to correct all those sad people who find Gillian Anderson attractive. She isn't.
She certainly isn't the most beautiful woman on Earth. She's short, plump, her face is oddly angular and her hair is a stupid colour and shape. Her voice is annoying and she generally makes me ill.
There. I've said it. And my email address for all those Scully lovers is
NjWr @ CENSORED
You'll certainly get some X-Filers
S-MULDER-ING OVER THAT ONE (Groan)
