The Mega-Zine Museum

April 28, 1997

CARMEL wants to know the name of the singer and song in the Sprite ad. Oh, and if Conor the Horned One is a bleurk, she'd like to marry 'im.

ANATIDAEPHOBIA is a little snob. What's wrong with townies? You're probably a real pleb too.

THE BLACK WIDOW SPIDER says two years ago you couldn't move for vampires on Mega-zine and she wonders where they've all gone. Probably to Transylvania or the Nile Delta or something.

THE IDEAL GOVERNMENT

POLICIES

• Make Song 2 the national anthem
• Reduce the price of chocolate
• Give rats equal rights

Dark Star

There should be a 100% tax rise on choc

AND SWEETS SO WE'D ALL BE SYLPH-LIKE

DEAR 'ZINESTERS

Forget relativity. Time expansion? Length contraction? I don't think so.

Einstein was wrong. Time contracts and length expands, but only when coursework is due in.

The time available seems to get shorter and the amount you have to do increases drastically. Downer.

Cousin of Olympia, getting back to work

Why didn't you work eight hours a day

FROM DAY ONE? SHEESH. NO DISCIPLINE.

HAIL ALL MANICS FANS

This is my debut appearance and I just wanna say a huge thank you to the person who said how fab the Manics are live (sorry babe, I didn't catch your name).

I'm seeing them live in Manchester on May 24 and your letter really got me hyped up.

Are other 'Ziners going? I hope to see you all there. Only five weeks to go!

The Welsh Princess

Is terminal cheesiness a Welsh thang?

(FIRST PARAGRAPH A LA TOM JONES)

DEAR SYLVIA'S SHADOW

So you don't allow wool into the house EVEN THOUGH SHEEP NEED TO SHED IT? They're HAPPY to be shorn.

And what about dairy products? I bet you can't give me ONE good reason why they're the source of all evil.

Leave the veggies alone. They DO care. They just aren't FANATICAL like some.

Mad Max, striking back

That is the final word. No, this is:

VEGGIES CAN'T COOK ANYWAY

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