The Mega-Zine Museum
April 16, 1997
CLARIOSO would like to stress to Sally Mander that Brian Molko is a God. And any bad comments, she'll send her dog round to savage you.
ANNE BOLEYN'S ELEVENTH FINGER says a shirt is a shirt, UPM! And some of us can think of better things to spend £90 on. Some people have to live on it!
NATURE'S APHID gave us loads of reasons why she loves Huw from EastEnders. He's got a gorge accent for one and he's dead chubby and can be used as a love-handle accessory(?)
OI ANTI GLUM LEAGUE
NOOOOOOOOO! What exactly are you trying to prove? Why do you even bother writing to the 'Zine at all? Haven't you got anything better to do?
I mean exactly how many people do you have in your league? Four? Instead of wasting space why don't you run for the General Election? You're such prats you'd be perfect for the job!
Any 'Zinesters out there thinking to start up a league of you own: Don't bother!
Happy Hippy
No, an Anti-Glum party would be far
TOO RADICAL FOR A GENERAL ELECTION!
DEAR 'ZINE
ANOTHER frightening but true Vic and Bob related incident has occurred.
In episode 6, series 1 of The Smell... they sing a song called 'Trapped in my flat' where they describe the horrors of being trapped in one's home by an iron door.
Well, yesterday I couldn't open my front door. I was left helpless with only memories for company, and was forced to spend the day watching videos and eating cream horns.
Listen to R&M!
The Dove from Above
If you were trapped for much longer
THERE'D BE MORE THAN A SMELL OF R&M!
'ZINE
Did you know famous people read the 'Zine?
There is one such famous person, known here only as 'National Car Parks', that sniggers at you all. Yes, this man reads the 'Zine to laugh at us.
Rise up, vandalise his pay-and-display machines. Park in him, destroy this... semi-famous person.
Um, does anyone know who I'm talking about?
Taylor's Biggest Fan
It's all been a horrible dream...
LITTLE 'ZINER! SNIGGER SNIGGER HA HA
TO EVERYONE AND ANYONE
Why on Earth does nearly everyone who writes in to the 'Zine talk nothing bit rubbish?
I mean, you get idiots moaning about how everyone else won't let them be individuals and then they have to moan about it on the 'Zine. I mean they go on as if they're some sort of tortured artist!
And another thing - what does that middle-class idiot Crispian Mills tnink he's on about? He talks rubbish!
The Angel of Irony
Angel. You're just a tortured cynic
IN NEED OF FRIENDS AND A CAUSE...
