The Mega-Zine Museum
April 11, 1997
INCANDESCENT INDIE ICE-LANDER... "What's this Cobain-o-phile stuff on the Zine recently? So he's dead, NEVERMIND."
TVG's diary with three years of emotional worries has gone missing... what do you do? Have a darn good read!
GREAT AMERICAN NUDE says to Morticia Chair, "Great name, I want your address honey!" He also says you don't see the Spice Girls dropping their knickers on stage or throwing things into the crowd!
Morticia: he'll be on The Void.
DEAR ZINESTERS
What is the point in debating whether people should eat animals or not?
People have always eaten meat and always will. So stop wasting paper, you veggies, with your endless lectures.
You're wasting trees! Stop telling us to go and eat our pets. It's totally different. By having pets we're showing that we do care about animals!
Curly Wurly
PS. If aliens do exist, then we ourselves are aliens!
Stop wasting Zine space on this topic.
WE CAN'T AFFORD THE SPACE-MAN!
DEAR CONOR THE HORNED ONE
You complain about the lack of really, really attractive girls heading your way, but if you really are "sensitive and intelligent" you would know that there's more to a girl than looks.
There are thousands of ugly and plain girls out there looking for sensitive guys, but all we get is abuse.
Does the "sensitive and intelligent" type really exist?
The Red Vixen
Stop HUNTING for them. They are timid
CREATURES WHO LURK IN LIBRARIES.
DEAR ZINE
HELP! I've been captured by frozen toffee apples with little sprinkles on top. To earn my freedom I must answer their mind-boggling riddle.
If yesterday's tomorrow was Thursday, what day is the day after tomorrow's yesterday.
I await your answers in gross frustration. The apples are nibbling at my toe-nails...
Frozen Light Bulb
A desperate and lonely plight indeed!
I'M SURE YOUR MAN FRIDAY WILL APPEAR
DEAR ZINE
Why has Coronation Street's Andy been transformed into Liam Gallagher?
He's got the hair, it's in Manchester, BUT he's also developed the "I am god-like" walk, adopted the gesture of pointing at people's noses to stress a point and calling everyone "our kid".
I fear for our world and its domination by Oasis...
Dr Scott
HEY, don't look back in anger! Relax -
HAVE A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE, SUPER...
