The Mega-Zine Museum
February 25, 1997
SCORCHIO PIZZA delights us with the information that there is a Swedish town called Bastaad!
PSYCHOPATH WITH PERFECT TEETH is sick of being ripped off by remixes. What we want is proper EPs with proper B-sides!
PRETTY VACANT SUBURBAN KID is being helpful to Mark Lamarr groupies. Here's an address:
c/o Off the Kerb Production
22 Thornhill Crescent,
London, N1 1BJ.
DEAR 'ZINE
February is a depressing month, so to cheer you up here's three pieces of classic FRIENDS dialogue:
- Ross to Rachel: "You're over me? Er. when were you under me?"
- Phoebe to Chandler: "Go on! Do it! Call her! Stop being so... testosteroney!"
- Chandler: "I had an imaginary friend who my parents preferred to me!"
- Me to Chandler: "I love you! Marry Me!"
Happy Hippy on her comeback.
And his reply? I'll be there for you...
...OR ARE YOU JUST BEING OESTROGENEY!
DEAR 'ZINE
You may remember a song by geniuses R&M entitled Don't Slip On Loose Muesli, highlighting the dangers of spilling muesli high above sea-level. It's fatal.
The other day I was casually eating a mouthful of said cereal when a raisin got stuck in my throat, making me choke violently and spray my mouthful across the room. My mother then stood on the scattered muesli, slipped and fell over.
It's tasty but not worth the risk.
The Dove from Above
You're a bit of a fruit and nut case
AND YOUR ARGUMENT HAS NO REAL FIBRE!
DEAR HAPPY HIPPY
I know exactly how you feel. I used to grace these pages at least twice a week, but now it's a miracle if any of my letters get printed at all. I doubt this one will.
The 'Zine hasn't been up to it's usual (very high) standard. It's because the brilliant writers like you, Letsat, Savo and me (etc) have been phased out to make way for new writers.
I think WLW has changed sex, personality and football team!
The Wannabe
A miracle! But it's not all bad Wannabe
NEW WRITERS - NEW PEOPLE TO PICK ON!
BONJOUR MON PETIT DEJEUNER
Has anyone noticed the new bunch of 'Ziners who worship Broken Circles?
His philosophical babble is influencing new 'Ziners to whinge about how bad everything is.
We could wipe-out these scum and have the 'Zine to ourselves if we were to unite.
So join me, anti-glummers and we shall destroy BC.
Earthworm John and the Anti-Glum League
I don't know if it's a good idea.
IT WILL ALL GO WRONG. LIFE SUCKS!
