The Mega-Zine Museum
January 7, 1997
RODDERS WAH WAH
My name should have read Earthworm John Rules, not Earthworm Jim Rules.
Now that is cleared up, I would like you to know your threat was sad and pathetic. PKK will eventually take over the world until all PK's are destroyed.
If you want to avoid being killed, read Animal Farm and learn from it.
Earthworm John loving the Underground Potato Movement
What? "Four legs good, two legs bad" or
SIMPLY DON'T BE A PIG! (GEDDIT?)
DEAR 'ZINE
It has been a long time since I last wrote. In my absence I have been working on some of my most powerful poetry ever. Here is an example.
Why? Why not? Because. Because what? Just because.
This is just the beginning. I am back!
The Poetic 1
We believe in helping poor creatives.
AND YES, IT'S VERY, VERY POOR!
DEAR LBSJAMSWAUSPG
So it's "cool" to believe in UFOs? That's what you think, although programmes like The X-Files have pulled beliefs like these from the lunatic fringes.
Young people do have opinions and beliefs, even if they don't believe in heaven and God.
Oh yeah, UFOs do exist - we just don't know what they are.
The Mysterious Something
And I believe that this is becoming a
CELESTIAL BATTLE OF CROSSED WIRES!
DEAR WLW
My lovely mother just happened to read your comment about my last letter and promptly sent me to the North Pole. I had a wonderful time!
I met the Snowman, had a party and received a lovely gift - a "real" Christmas tree from Santa himself. He's coming round for tea tonight so I must go and prepare.
Thanks again.
She Has Spoken
He's coming round for tea??! We think
YOU'RE GOING ROUND THE BEND!
DEAR 'ZINERS
I'd just like to inform you that the letter about bands was written by Mad Max - that dedicated scribbler - not by Mad MA as I put.
Mad MA has many possibilities though, don't you think? It leaves a lot to the imagination. Could it mean Mad Melting After-dinner-mint? Could it mean Mad Moments of Anticipation, etc..?
But anyway, sorry Mad Max. It won't happen again!
There's nothing more irritating for a
WRITER THAN TO BE MISPRONTED!
