The Mega-Zine Museum
November 8, 1996
MR INTEGRITY-JONES told me to print his letter or he'd tell his dad. Well... Mr Jones Senior your son would like to speak to you.
THE WONDERMORON is convinced that it is impossible to make more than 43 words from the letters of "Mega-zine".
POLO Yes you are mad!
GIRL WITH THE X-RAY EYES wants to point out that intergalactic beings are not like the berks in 3rd Rock from the Sun.
TO ALL MOTORING MORONS
Why do some idiot drivers believe fog lamps are necessary when it gets dark? It may be a shock for some people to learn that fog lamps are bright, and especially for use when it is foggy! Amazing but true!
It was most gratifying to see a boy-plonker-racer getting a ticket the other day for having enough lights on to illuminate Wembley stadium. But did I laugh..? You know I did! Hoo Hah!
Gizmo Gadget (with an attachment).
Don't get in a flap! These people have
A PROBLEM - STUPIDITY ISN'T CURABLE!
TO ALL THE 'ZINESTERS
I've been reading the 'Zine for some months now and reading some of Iron Lion's letters have really made me laugh - at how sad he is.
Take his most recent letter, where he says that the unfunniest person in the world is funnier than Eddie Izzard.
Yeah, nice one fool. If the unfunniest person was funnier than Izzard then he/she wouldn't be the unfunniest would he/she? So shut it!
The One
THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
Long letters from far away friends, winter, Christmas, rain, guitars, grunge, Bottom, rock, Pulp Fiction, metal, Condorman, indie, Vic & Bob, industrial, Rik Mayall, writing, reading, buying CDs, Scary Girl on 'Zine, John Peel, Alan Freeman, Evening Session, the 'Zine, my mates, gigs, the Spice Girls (Agh! You were doing so well until this point. WLW) Uma Thurman films (that's better) and Nirvana.
Soppy, Corny Rock Boy
You forgot Zig & Zag and Pingu.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!
'ZINERS, I'VE BEEN SHIELDING YOU FROM SOME OF THE MOST AWFUL POETRY KNOWN TO MAN BUT THERE COMES A POINT WHEN EVEN THE MIGHTY WHITE LINE WARRIOR HAS HAD ENOUGH.
THE WORST IS PURPLE NISHI. EG:
MY FAVOURITE TEACHER
There was a teacher called Savinkin,
Who had a big rolling pin.
She liked watching Tintin
And stare at the dustbin.
The Purple Nishi
I REST MY CASE - DESIST!
WHAT IS GOING ON?
- My milk bottle tops have names like Simba and Marlon Brando underneath them
- The hot chocolate in the common room vender has turned grey.
- I've started reading p492 before p442
- Pulp are taking a year off!
Maybe it was that wasp thing that stung me last Wednesday.
Strange Little Girl With Blue Eyes
I'm afraid there's no hope for you!
IT'S ALL GOING HORRIBLY WRONG!
