The Mega-Zine Museum
October 27, 1996
ANON warns us never to watch comets. If you've read Day of the Triffids you'll know why.
SAVE THE SHRIMP truly believes Boyzone have touched the hearts of shrimps worldwide. And she's off to see the Backstreet Boys in November. Urgh.
THE HEAVENLY NOBODY says I'm running out of good letters. Get the hint boys and girls?
THE CRUSHED ORANGE says REM rocked
15 months ago.
WERE YOU ABDUCTED BY ALIENS SINCE?
THIS IS A LETTER OF PROTEST
I live in Coventry and support Cov City I have supported CCFC since I was eight but my friends support Liverpool. Why?
Cos they fancy Jamie Redknapp and his totally fake hair! This is an insult to women who are genuine fans.
Another thing. I'm not an Oasis, Pulp or Kula Shaker fan. All you people who think Oasis are ripping off The Beatles The Kinks and The Stones, speak up!
Lucy, in the sky
Are they ripping these bands off or
PAYING THEM A TRIBUTE?
SIMPLE VERSE
When London Town is burning down
and a baby falls from a tree,
and the bridge on the Thames is collapsing,
where's the place for me?
You may be filled with a warming glow
from the candle that lights you to bed;
oranges and lemons sound sublime
but the chopper still comes for your head.
These innocent rhymes that you sang as a child
only tell of death in tones so mild.
Arutha's Counterpart
KEYS
Keys are actually alien visitors from the planet Neptune who have come to earth to examine the feeling known to us as frustration, to them as wibbleydoopaploop.
Five minutes before you decide to leave for work the keys grow legs and scuttle away from the place you safely left them. They then watch as you get frustrated, kicking the cat and slamming doors. Then they fly off in their rocket.
Anon
Do they also come as cups of tea you
CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE YOU LEFT?
DEAR 'ZINE
I can reveal that newsreaders wear jeans and trainers while reading the news and, in summer, shorts. The desk they sit at is littered with coffee cups and old issues of TV Quick. They make jokes about the people being interviewed and fiddle with their hair.
The biggest scandal is that the first introduction bit is recorded. While it's being shown they sit there putting on their makeup and shouting at the floor manager.
The Wannabe
THE CAMEL
There is a camel in my house and he is carrying a board and on that board are some words...
Don't Kill The Man.
S Johnston
You should take more breaks from your
COMPUTER, MATE. YOUR BRAIN'S MELTED.