The Mega-Zine Museum
July 2, 1996
THE FREEK would like to tell the world that it thinks "Penguin" is the most mis-leading name for a choccie bar!
IRON LION The zillions of 'Ziners across the country are missing you. Write now to shut them up!
KIRBY has done no revision for maths and is working on a dream machine. Dreams do not make money!
PRINCE VLAD OF SOUTH LONDON Please buy a dictionary. Not every word in the universe begins with Z.
DEAR GONZO
Oh please don't leave the 'Zine!. It just wouldn't be the same without you.
You're wrong, I wouldn't jump off a cliff, I'd jump out of a 15,000 ft aeroplane.
You can't just leave, you're the best part of 'Zine! I'd never forgive you and I'd have to seriously think about still going out with you.
Happy Hippy
You really think Gonzo deserves the
ADORATION OF A POP STAR?
DEAR 'ZINE
Last week you had an article on who's hot at Wimbledon, and you didn't mention the best player since sliced bread, my future hubby - Mr Tim Henman.
Incidentally bread has a poor serve, but a good SLICE-shot.
I expect an apology within 24 hours or you won't receive a piece of our wedding cake.
F.O.T.H. (Fiancee of Tim Henman)
WLW does not go to weddings or eat
WEDDING CAKE. SO LOOK ELSEWHERE!
ALBUM REVIEW: 1977 - ASH
A stunning combination of tuneful vocals, almost in the background, while thrash guitars whine out the soundtrack of every teenager's life... brilliant.
I can't believe I'm the same age as these guys. WHY am I wasting my life on A-levels and history essays when I could be living the rock star dream??
The Muso, Princess of the Vampire Children
TO THE INBETWEENER
Perhaps you should put your friend in touch? Although I don't have a matching fringe, I really am, in fact, related to Johnny Dean.
However, I don't go around shouting about it. Perhaps your friend should re-dye her hair and shut up!
The Ultimate's Boyf
OI! TORTOISE SPECS!
Are you totally stupid? I am so obviously female and even if I was male I would most definitely not be called Nigel.
Dazy, GIRL from Mars
