Mega-Zine Museum: Letters

June 22, 1996

THE RUINER listed his top ten songs but it's too hot to put them up.

BROKEN CIRCLES has thrown down the gauntlet and called Savo a 'tired relic of 95'. Are those swinging saloon doors and the steady step of a gunslinger called Savo I hear, over my VDU?

ROTTING IN A FREE WORLD would like to put Metallica, Pantera, Sepultura and Carcass in a mosh pit with Blur, Oasis and Pulp. My nose wings are quivering at the thought of the SMELL. Eurrgh.

The new Nerds lolly is yummy.

BUT IT AIN'T AS GOOD AS HOMEMADE.

RIP CROWDED HOUSE

I was saddened to read that Crowded House are splitting up.

Ironically, I read this news on Grooves whilst listening to the excellent Together Alone album.

I remember watching Split Enz, who would later evolve into Crowded House, in early November 1976 in Birmingham.

The death of the art of songwriting is, I fear, imminent.

Morrissey, Mansion In The Slums

Whaddya saying like? Busta Rhymes has

EXCELLENT SONG-WRITING SKILLS!

EXAM DISCOVERIES

You boil if seated by a window.
French reading only lasts 40 minutes.
Examiners check desks for graffiti.
Poetry exams use "emphasis" a lot.
Invigilators' pacing is annoying.
There's never space to write the answer.

Tath, revising (honest)

And people have rubbish fluffy mascots

IN FRONT OF THEM FOR LUCK. PUUL-EEZ.

WHY DOES MULDER NEVER TAKE OFF HIS RAINCOAT?

He's secretly a flasher.
He's got the England football team under there.
He's from the same planet as me.
He doesn't want to shock Scully.

The Artist Formerly Known as Kermit

PS England are going to win Euro 96 and Jamie Redknapp is a babe.

WLW digs Teddy Sheringham and his

SWEATY HAIR STICKING TO HIS SCALP

IDEAS FOR DAY TRIPS TO LONDON

Pretend to be a waxwork at Madame Tussaud's and scare the tourists.
Visit all the places in Balham that Peter in Fist of Fun mentions.
Accost passers-by and ask them if they're 'Ziners.
Go out all night and watch people on the tube avoid you as you go home the next morning looking a state.

Dancing Diva

DEAR 'ZINE

My name is Dougall McDougall and I wonder why some people are so obsessed with their looks. I can go for two months without having a shower or brushing my hair.

I probably smell a bit but my friends don't care and they love me.

Also, why is it that parents don't believe you can have a friend of the opposite sex unless you're going out with them?

Dougall McDougall

Your parents should know that girls are

SAFE FROM YOUR STINKY EMBRACE.

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