The Mega-Zine Museum
April 17, 1996
THE AURAL OBSERVER wonders if anyone has noticed that the laugh at the end of Cum On Feel The Noise on Oasis' DLBIA single sounds like Dani Behr?
BEAUTIFUL BUTTY wants to spend a week in bed with a 6ft felt tip and draw on the ceiling.
VINEGAR MARTIN is in gay Paree!
THE AVERAGE BELIEVER can get all Blur's releases FREE a month before they're in the shops, and all their promotional CDs and... and... BIG DEAL.
(DLBIA = Don't Look Back In Anger)
A mate of a mate of WLW works with
GOLDIE. REFLECTED GLORY OR WHAT?
DEAR 'ZINE
You want another poem, you do.
Noggin the Nog
Winnie the Pooh
Mr Benn and Barley McCrew.
Captain Pugwash
Bagpuss the cat
Zippy and Bungle
Fancy that!
The Albino Hedgehog
SOME IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
What is the meaning of life? And is there a god?
Just why is halibut dearer than cod?
But the really big question that remains to be seen
is why doesn't everyone write to the 'Zine?
Sigmar the Grey, in a grovelling mood
Your shameless flattery has left me
COLD AND INDIFFERENT. GROVEL MORE.
DEAR ZINE
I am really annoyed. Why? (I dunno but I'm sure you'll tell us.)
Top bands like Rage Against the Machine and Sepultura never retain high positions in the charts because a lot of shops don't stock their singles.
Instead they fill their shelves with copies of Boyzone and artists formerly know as Take That. Their excuse: They are not very popular bands.
Supersonic Shakermaker.
DEAR MEGAZINE
Does anyone know why people don't take me seriously?
I'm a kipper seller and, at school, I ask people if they want to buy my kippers. My friends say: "I don't get it, you're weird."
People I don't know give me strange looks and when I offer them reduced prices they run off. Does anyone want to buy a kipper?
The Kipper Seller, selling kippers
They run off 'cos you probably pong.
KIPPERS ON TOAST WITH SHALLOTS.
DEAR 'ZINERS
My mummy is nice, so is my dad. My brother's OK but he teases real bad.
'Zinesters are fab, Oasis are too. But WLW smells 'cos he takes the mick out of the best football team in the world.
Anonymous Halifax Town Fan
