The Mega-Zine Museum
April 5, 1996
SURLY HERMIT says he doesn't streak at Hull City games, he does it at Notts Forest. Wow, a Premiership streaker!
CARROT arrived safely in the post and now wants to be 'Zine's pet. OK, just as long as Bugs Bunny doesn't show up in Fulham looking for you.
NORTHERN SOUL was very bold in locking Rachel in the loo for three hours. Hope her bottom wasn't too stiff.
THE VAMPIRE ARMAND appeals to Louis and Lestat to fly home. Coffin buddies!
Mrs Sloan wants to know what boys
WORRY ABOUT... MEGA-ZINE?!?!
DEAR 'ZINE
I think there should be a rule to stop people like Bjork breaking my stereo with her voice every time I turn it on.
Her voice should be put to better use as a foghorn - that would save us from having to listen to her painful drivel.
Mouldy Pea
DEAR 'ZINE
As I'm now rich and famous, I feel I ought to give you something for helping me to become the most popular guy for 1,996 years.
So I've sent you
- Fresh mountain air from Everest
- Invisible ink (look harder)
- Joyrider's best letters (none)
- My personal autograph
- My next 20 Oscars
Artist formerly known as Gonzo
Your popularity is like the ink -
COMPLETELY INVISIBLE
DEAR 'ZINE
Most agree with "Don't have a fit if we cut out a bit", but as a victim of WLW's knife, I disagree.
The part cut from my last letter was the most important point! I don't dislike people who use TV names, just the ones who don't stay in character.
Finally, WLW branding me a pretentious twerp leaves me no option: WLW, you're a tasteless egomanic!
The Ethereal Lion, Annoyedsville
Don't have a fit if we cut out a bit!
EIGHT THINGS BETTER THAN MEN
- Grapefruit juice
- Sunshine
- Brad Pitt (he's a god, not a man)
- Chocolate-coated peanuts
- Levi's 501s
- Strawberry lip balm
- Daffodils
- Blue nail varnish
The Jelly Flamingo
Cue the 80 good things better
THAN JELLY REPLIES!
DRIVING TESTS
If I ever pass my test, I'm going to forget about becoming a rock star.
Instead, I'll be a great racing driver.
The Muso, mistress of Romulus
