The Mega-Zine Museum
April 1, 1996
RED HOT CHILLI BANANA self-destructed in five seconds. About time too!
BELGARION THE ORB BEARER says people besides himself who write in with lists of fave things are pathetic. No way.
BOYZONE FANS IN OXFORD want to know more about Uncle Nick - they fear he is a trouble shooter. Our Nick? Never!
GIDEON, GIVER OF LIGHT, is screaming in silence at having to go to college after 14 years at school. Switch on, school days are the best of your life.
Gavin's Fiancee is looking for Caesar's
SMELLY SOCKS. JUST SMELL, DEAR!
DEAR 'ZINE
Once upon a time, the 'Zine used to be an adjunct to the music pages. I don't know who's lost the plot recently.
Whatever's happened, 'Zine has become bogged down in nonsense - either about the X Files or the sort of surrealism Spike Milligan would never stoop to.
Come on, let's get back to the musical debating of the good old days.
The Not So Happy Go Lucky Tramp
DEAR 'ZINE
How dare Noel Gallagher compare Oasis to The Beatles?! His band may yet catch up with the Fab Four sales-wise, but musically they are miles apart.
The Beatles turned pop music into what it is today and made 13 albums without their standards slipping. Mr Gallagher has made two albums and is already showing flaws in his creativity.
Band of the 90s? Sorry, Nirvana were more exciting.
Death with a Pulse Rate
Don't look back in anger when replies
AREN'T LOVE, LOVE ME DO, PULSIE!
ANSWERS TO CRAZY QUESTIONS
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side, I suppose (stolen from a six-year-old on Glug's jokes p498).
- Why are eggs round? So we can put cups under them!
- Why did Frank Bruno lose? Because he ate too many chips with HP sauce and not enough Weetabix.
Strawbery Sherbet Rockin' Girl
AFKA GONZO'S ACTIVITIES
| Mission: | To eradicate all rogue 'Zine writers and encourage style |
| Side-kick: | Muppet of Pimlico |
| Transport: | Gonzomobile |
| Uniform: | Red silk cape, bullet proof Armani leather jacket and Levi jeans |
| Weapons: | Armani jeans and bad letter guided missiles |
Artist formerly known as Gonzo
Watch it, Muppet of Pimlico is a
RICH KID TRYING TO LOOK TRENDY!
WHY DO TEACHERS...?
- Only check homework when you haven't done any?
- Think that just because they can do something, everyone can?
- Speak to you any way they like, then react all self-righteous if you attempt to do the same?
- Ask your opinion, then completely disregard it?
The Joyrider
Can't answer you Joyrider
WLW LEFT SCHOOL A LONG TIME AGO!
CARDBOARD TASTES NAFF
I am so bored I have taken to chewing on the cardboard at the back of note pads. Not to be recommended.
Lentils
