The Mega-Zine Museum
January 19, 1996
PAMPHLETT suggests that to identify yourself as a 'Ziner you should wear pants on your head at school on Monday morning. Detention for the lot of you!
KERMIT THE VEGETARIAN went to Trafalgar Square on New Year's Eve but couldn't find any pigeons. Didn't you know they go to the Pigeon Party in the Loft?
LITLE MISS BUG finds A Level double maths difficult. Things just won't add up for her.
MISS HEADSHRINKER went on about zzz...
Faraway Girl's letter was faraway
IT WAS SEALED IN TWO ENVELOPES!
THE BOYZONE ONE
Defendant: Ronan Keating of Boyzone
Charged With: Being a heart-breaker!
On What Grounds: Reportedly having no less than four girlfriends
Witnesses: Two friends of a friend
Plea: No comment
Judge's Verdict: Guilty!
Ronan's Dying Juliet
DEAR 'ZINE
My name is Dr Dana K Scully. I was born on February 23, 1964. My undergraduate degree was in physics.
I hope this proves my authenticity. For some reason unknown to Mulder and I, there are a number of people attempting to impersonate me on this 'Zine thing.
Please ignore further communications from them.
Special Agent Dr Dana Scully
The game's up, X-Filers
WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AT LAST!
HELPFUL HAMSTER HINTS
Three reasons to buy a hamster:
- They nibble holes in jumpers granny buys for you, making them unwearable.
- When caught raiding the biscuit tin, you can say you were only providing a varied diet for your hamster.
- Film hammy falling off the table (put a cushion underneath). Then send it to Beadle's About and earn some money.
Dizzy Wallflower
DEAR GOVERNMENT
Congratulations on your newly-improved national curriculum. The other day I was given the honour of conducting an experiment in making yoghurt.
Why did I have to do this? In the GCSE Biology exam no less than 25 per cent is given to questions on bio-technology i.e. making yoghurt.
Nice one, lads. Very worthwhile!
Tanya's Dynamic Child
Suppose it's one way of improving
SCHOOL DINNERS!
GIG REVIEW - ME, MY HOUSE
It was brilliant!
Despite the poor turn-out of nobody, the people who weren't there would never have stopped cheering.
From the first song to the last, the atmosphere was electric and some of the nearby ornaments fainted.
Iron Lion Antelope, totally confused
