The Mega-Zine Museum
December 31, 1995
TANYA'S DYNAMIC CHILD sent us a list of her top 10 numbers. A pity they only went from one to 10!
PURPLE HAIRED INDIE VAMPIRE tried to tell us what Smarties have to answer to. She failed, as only Smarties have the answer!
TANGERINE BARON wants everyone who's not as glamorous as himself to make an effort! Does this mean that we all have to look like we've been tangoed?!
MARCO went vegetarian on Christmas Day!
Bob added L and N to Savo and got
SAVLON. ANTISEPTICALLY SCARY!!
PREJUDICED REINDEERS
"All of the other reindeers
Used to laugh and call him names
And they didn't let poor Rudolf
Join in any reindeer games"
These four lines are highly disturbing! If reindeers who only co-operate once a year can't get on without prejudice getting in the way, what slim chance do we have?
Mr Darcey's nose
THINGS ALWAYS IN CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS
A mouldy old tangerine Pens that end up lost behind the sofa Brown and orange coloured socks Smellies - what are they telling us?
THINGS NEVER IN CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS
CDs, as they're what you really want
A lyric book of your favourite album
Cadbury's Creme Eggs
Some good scents
The Elite Catastrophe
You don't get eggs in your sock because
THEY BREAK!
COMMON QUESTION ANSWERED
Q Why do parents take great delight in saying embarrassing things about you?
A Parents have to publicly humiliate their kids at least once a week to be classed as real parents.
They delight in telling stories from your childhood to make you feel a total outcast. It's when the photo album comes out things get dangerous!!
Urban Cowgirl
Sorry, but aren't you forgetting kids
REGULARLY HUMILIATE THEIR PARENTS?!
THE WONDERFUL LIFE OF AN ANTELOPE
Antelope, antelope,
Please don't cry.
I want to be normal
But I don't know why.
My life is a walrus
All covered in antelopes.
The next line doesn't rhyme
But after all, I'm totally confused!
Iron Lion Antelope, totally confused
Listen: bemused rhymes with confused
IT'S HOW WE FEEL ABOUT YOUR POEM!
HAIR COLOUR REVIEW
Red: Bright red is quite groovy, but it can also be too normal. 7/10
Brown: Too normal, too dull and way too boring. It's my natural colour. 1/10
Blonde: Great if you want to be a stupid Baywatch babe. 5/10
Purple: This is the best hair colour. It makes you stand out, looks great and matches black clothing. 10/10
Sweet Gothic Vampire, with purple hair
Purple hair! Are you copying the
DAME EDNA LOOK?!
