The Mega-Zine Museum
December 29, 1995
MYSTIC MICHAEL's New Year resolutions include stopping making fun of Aunt Imelda's facial hair.
LASER FIEND has noticed that Noel Gallagher is a dead ringer for Parker from Thunderbirds. Took your time!
THE FIFTH HORSEMAN OF THE APOCOLYPSE does not prefer blondes, Curious Cat. Winona Ryder & Julia Swahala more like.
FRUSTRATED YOUTH pledges to join forces with Angel Of Suffering to destroy the Fascist Santa Movement.
Christmas comes but once a year...
IF ONLY BAD TOP TENS FOLLOWED SUIT
NOTICE TO ALL CHRISTMAS DINNER EATERS
Anyone considering eating Turkey this Christmas should change their mind pretty darn fast.
All those found to be consuming this foul... er fowl will be attacked by me and my followers from the planet Vegetable and pummelled with sprouts.
Don't think you can escape - we are ever-present. Consume at your peril!
Mutant Lettuce With Attitude
AFFECTATION
My heart bursts through my ribs
When I see you...
My legs turn to jelly
When I kiss you...
My head explodes
When I think of you...
You're in love with a mess.
Joanna Pianner
Thanks for all the Christmas Cards
'ZINESTERS - HAPPY NEW YEAR!
DEAR 'ZINE
I would like to express my extreme displeasure with the Mike Flowers Pops version of Wonderwall.
It is the biggest load of sad, cheap, and tacky rubbish that I have ever heard.
In fact, it is even worse than the Coronation Street single.
I hope no 'Zinesters have bought it!
Y-Bird
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...
ALONG WITH MIKE FLOWERS' RECORDS
DUMPTYGATE
New evidence has come to light that Humpty didn't fall, but was the subject of a conspiracy, between the King and all the King's men, to kill him off.
A King's horse, remaining anonymous, was found at the bottom of Mary (Quite Contrary's) garden pond after selling the story to the Gingerbread Weekly.
Did Dumpty know he was a victim and jumped, or was he indeed pushed?
Mystic Michael
Life is a conspiracy...
OR ARE WE JUST MEANT TO THINK SO?
SOME SENSELESS WORDS
It's been a while since I've raised my wings and had a say, so now I have another mission.
- Savo, who are you? Do you like PJ Harvey?
- Chicken In The Mist, do you believe the egg came first or the chicken?
I thought I'd say something senseless now everyone else has.
Deus' Guardian Angel
Witty, Blurless, senseless-less
LETTERS WILL BE GRATEFULLY RECEIVED
