Mega-Zine Museum: Letters

November 18, 1995

SWINNY wants to know if the scientists who invented the chaos theory had a game of Kerplunk beforehand. No dummy, they played Connect 4.

THE DERANGED ORANGE wants to know why people who shop at Oxfam and Netto get the mickey taken out of them. If you can't figure that out...

MINNIE BANNISTER wonders what's happened to Sally's imaginary friend Milko. He got bored of her conversation

ZENA BADAWE loves Paul Daniels' toupee.

Don't scoff at wig-wearers.

YOU MAY HAVE A THINNING PATE SOMEDAY

REVIEW - I BELIEVE ROBSON + JEROME

I am in love with this song. It's a definite classic. They sing sublimely with their angelic and highly trained voices.

The B-side is far better than the original! A much-deserved number one, worthy of keeping Oasis off the top.

Sally Cinnamon, Up On The Roof

PS I am a compulsive liar.

DEAR 'ZINE

The other day my friend said that women should not have been given the vote. What a terrible thing to say!

I mean, before women had the vote, Britain had an empire and now we have 3 million unemployed and we've become a country of very little importance.

Oops. Perhaps he was right after all.

Tangerine Baron, Tannadice

Perhaps you should go into hiding...

I CAN SEE THE FURIOUS REPLIES NOW

DEAR 'ZINE

Has anyone else noticed the curse afflicting charismatic rock legends of the twentieth century?

Kurt Cobain, John Lennon, Freddie Mercury, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly - all legends in their own right.

And they all died prematurely whilst still making music. Spooky.

Death With A Pulse Rate

The world is a worse place without them

ALTHOUGH THEIR MUSIC LIVES ON

TO ALL 'ZINESTERS

I'm new around here, so I thought I'd better introduce myself.

I'm the number 45 Villa Shirt and I think Villa are the best team in the world. I think Savo is a rather wonderful person.

I also think Hollyoaks should be abolished and Brian Little should be made prime minister. Don't ask me why, he just should.

Number 45 Villa Shirt, The Boot Room

Gaah! Another potential Savo!

WE DON'T DESERVE THIS!

THINGS WHICH MAKE ME WANT TO SHOUT

Privately Educated Non-Blonde Snob