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November 7, 1995

YOU SAD RAVERS says The Girl From Mars to all those who didn't mosh during Parklife at The Dandylion. Yeah.

HOLLYWOOD GIRL & SALLY CLEAN say everyone should belt up about Camden Town and give more credit to Manchester which gives so much pleasure to so many

DIM-DIM THE FLYING MONKEY claims we all consist of bread, jam and Flora Extra Light. Prove it, matey.

CUCUMBER HARVEY wants to know what happened to the Living Soap.

The Flukewomen wrote in on loo paper

DO NOT LET THIS CATCH ON, GOTTIT?

 

THE KIDS TV DEBATE CONTINUES

  1. Pootle flump was NOT female, 'he' just had a gormless voice
  2. Why has there been no Knightmare this year?
  3. The most innovative, funniest and strangest kids' programme of the past decade has to be Gilbert's Fridge. I wish they would bring it back, but as Gilbert says, ye kan always dream

The Happy-Go-Lucky Tramp

 

SWEETS REVIEW - POPPING CANDY

I know it's really tacky but when used in the right manner, Popping Candy can be a deadly weapon.

Yes, Popping Candy can provide hours of fun for all the family.

Simply place between the teeth and it can shoot up to seven metres at incredible speeds.

This can be used upon unsuspecting friends and irritating neighbours.

Muppet (bluetonic and chips x2)

I walk down the street with my gob open

SCARES PEOPLE ROTTEN, SO IT DOES

 

BRIBERY ATTEMPT

You see that paperclip enclosed, WLW? It's an antique, sculpted 2,500 years ago by Ancient Greek smiths.

Known as Clippus Suspicious, there are only a handful left in such perfect condition. It is rumoured that Oedipus used this very clip to hold together love letters sent to his mother.

I feel so guilty now. Bribery, corruption. I could be an MP.

Wendigo, Raging In The Umbra

I shall hold it dear to my heart

UNTIL I GET A BUYER, THAT IS

 

A THOUGHT ON COOLNESS

It seems that it is no longer cool to be cool. Anyone who tries to be cool automatically fails through trying.

Anyone who doesn't try to be cool is cool, but not cool because they do!

Therefore,this leaves no-one to be cool and so cool no longer exists...

So everyone can wear what they like, dress anyhow and say what they like, without fear of being ridiculed.

Sally Paradise

In the words of Huey Lewis

IT'S HIP TO BE SQUARE

 

10 TOP SANDWICH FILLERS

  1. Tomato and Brown Sauce
  2. Crisps
  3. Pepperami
  4. Pingu (ha)
  5. Ice-cream
  6. Apricot baby feed
  7. Chopped onions
  8. Branston Pickle
  9. Garlic and herb salad cream
  10. Boiled cabbage

Jim's Fluffy Island, Lost in Australia