Mega-Zine
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August 23, 1995

IRATE BLUR FAN Firstly, swearing isn't big or clever. And secondly, you are both misinformed and boring. All right?

DIZZY INDIE DANDELION While we usually appreciate your input, we can't print either of your latest missives. Sorry!

SUGARBABY Suggests alternatives to TT 4 EVER. How about TT 4 NOW, TT 4 GONE, TT 4 FEIT. Don't start them off, Sugar.

SPIDER KHATHALI be careful. You won't like Keeble when he's angry...

And for the last time..

I DIDN'T WRITE THE BLUR FEATURE!!!

 

WHY 1995 HAS BEEN AND WILL BE BRILLIANT

  1. The Mile End gig.
  2. I met Jarvis Cocker.
  3. Decent music breaking into the charts
  4. Blur at number 1.
  5. Mega-Zine is still going strong.

Miss Crouch Ender, 15

Good to see an age there, Little Miss

NUMBER FIVE GOES WITHOUT SAYING

 

THE BLACK GRAPE SHAM

Something must be in the drinking water, which I alone am immune to.

This is why only I can see Black Grape for the dirge they are rather than see them as indie's new hope.

They are talentless, tuneless and ludicrously commercial thanks to ex-Mondays fans and dodgy videos.

Ditch them before we get another Oasis!

Casino Girl

 

AN EXTRA NEIGHBOURS SADDO

Hannah Martin thinks she's a teenager but acts like a three-year-old.

She has no co-ordination when it comes to rhythmic gymnastics. She has to get Philip to brush her hair.

She's a pillock for not realising that Billy didn't want to be seen with her at Erinsborough High (Do we blame him?)

Cheryl Stark's Hair Dye

Hannah may be bad, but not as bad as

OLD (BLACK HAIRED) LUCY!

 

REASONS NOT TO WORK IN A SHOE SHOP

  1. You have to smell people's sweaty feet and pretend not to.
  2. The laces always get caught round the end of the shoes.
  3. Foreign people don't know their UK shoe size.
  4. The customer is always right (I don't think so).

The Hula Hoop

And you have to try to sell everybody

SHOE POLISH ALL THE TIME

 

DEAR 'ZINE

New words for Roll With It:

You gotta play it again,
You gotta sound the same,
You gotta sound like the song you just released the other day,
And it's all getting too boring for me to take.

The Happy Indie Lad