The Mega-Zine Museum
August 14, 1995
AGNETHA'S MICROPHONE LIVING IN A BOX says he/she has never seen Lou Carpenter in the Abba movie. Oh no, how will we ever know the truth??!!
QUEEN OF THE DAMNED says to Dizzy Indie Dandelion that ageism rules everywhere, restricting the young and old. She went so far as to call it segregationist.
COUNT VON ZERO says to Elysium Succubus that if you are Morticia, he wants to be your Gomez. Takes all sorts.
Persia the Pussy Cat says I should feel
FREE TO ABUSE HER LETTER - WHO ME?
A NOTE TO SCOTTISH ZINERS
After coming back from a "holiday" in England I have worked out that the English are the most unfriendly, self-righteous snobs I have ever met.
I've also worked out how to get rid of them when they come near you - start speaking Gaelic as this confuses their simple minds.
Poor dears can't cope and have to have a lie down and a cup of milky tea.
Tangerine Baron, Tannadice
Alright Jimmy, keep your kilt on.
WHO TANGLED YOUR SPORRAN?
VIDEO REVIEW - GETTYSBURG
Coming out on two videos, this is a vivid but slightly overlong account of the battle of the American Civil War.
Performances are first-class all round, especially Oscar-nominated Jeff Daniels even if his moustache makes him look like a Yorkshire terrier.
The script is sometimes wordy, and the action mainly involves the battle for Little Round Top and Pickett's Charge.
David O'Conner
REVELATIONS AFTER WATCHING TOTP
- Corona and Cody have the same hairdresser
- Gary Barlow is Tug of Home and Away
- Black Grape dance as if they're constipated
- The TOTP dancers are fashion victims (pink jelly shoes aren't cool, OK!).
Spicy Angel who can't get down to the local beach, let alone Newquay!
Jelly shoes really aren't cool... oh dear
FLIP FLOPS AND TOWELLING SOCKS?!!
LAST OF SUMMER WINE AND ALL THAT
Why oh why do television companies put such lame repeats on in the summer? OK, some adults do like punishing young people but this is going too far.
We're on school holidays and we get programmes like "Upper Hand" - but the programmes we do want to see on the box never appear (a hint for X-Files).
With some programmes on at the moment you almost wish you were at school, NOT.
New Age Freak - With Friends
Too much TV can be bad for your health
GO OUT AND GET SOME FRESH AIR
LAUGHABLE THINGS TO DO IN A SUPERMARKET
Next time you're in a supermarket find a cashier that looks like she's just left convent school and smile broadly.
She's sure to ask "Can I help you?" in a gormless girly voice. After the inevitable question, answer "Yes love. Can I have a long blank stare, please".
After receiving this, simply say "Thank you". Then leave and wallow in your mirth for the next few minutes.
Elvin Pelvin (Rock'n'Roll Heaven)
