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July 13, 1995

LONDON DEVIL obviously is a keen-eyed Man United fan, saying Mark Hughes will score 10 goals for the Reds next year.

MUTE WITNESS says the music rags are only good for lining rabbit hutches. Don't try it with our Goddard's stuff.

MUPPET wants to dump her boyfriend nicely. There isn't a really nice way, unless you pay him off.

THE CYNIC WHO LIKES CHEESE stumbles again at the short cuts hurdle. Maybe next time, eh?

Lone Dove says cockroaches are cool

I PREFER MINE HOT WITH PEPPER SAUCE

 

DAWNRAZOR - FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM

Usually I go for albums on vinyl, but this is worth getting on CD for the five extra tracks.

FOTN have been compared to Sisters Of Mercy, but they aren't that good. Dawnrazor was their first album and the tracks Volcone and Laura 2 are my favourites.

If you listen to this album enough it will seriously do your head in! Great!

The Elyzium Succubus, Floodland

Having my head "seriously done in" is

NOT SOMETHING I'D DESCRIBE AS GREAT

 

TEN BAD THINGS ABOUT BEING AT COLLEGE

  1. Ever mounting work
  2. Tutors
  3. Valley girls
  4. Glamour boys
  5. People who work on the Student Union
  6. The way people who work treat you
  7. Doing work experience again
  8. Fake trendies
  9. Fake weirdos
  10. The amount of money you waste on books and stationery

King of the Night Time World

 

PROGRAM REVIEW - SMALL TALK

Stupid little idiots with stupid teeth, stupid haircuts and stupid voices.

Contestants laughing in superiority at answers. Just stupid, not funny - stupid.

And then there's Ronnie Corbett.

Not funny, but funnier than Surgical Spirit.

Another Worldly Device, Closer to God

Oh, the joys of Sunday evening TV

LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT - IT'S THE BEST!

 

DEAR 'ZINE

The football season is fast approaching and now is the time for all us fans to get ripped off again.

No, I'm not talking about Man United kits, but ticket prices. My grandad who is retired, will struggle to find £300 for a season ticket.

I know clubs need more money, following spiralling transfer fees, but they need their fans even more!

Crazy Owl, Saving up for Hillsborough

Surely it'll be cheaper for you lot

NEXT YEAR - IN THE ENDSLEIGH LEAGUE

 

DEAR 'ZINE

I'm Aladdin and these are my wishes.

  1. To appear on the 'zine
  2. For Giggs and Cantona to join Liverpool and make them the best in the world again
  3. To take Jet, Louise (Eternal) and Princess Jasmine on my magic carpet all around the world

Aladdin, Magic Carpet