Mega-Zine
Icon

July 5, 1995

LITTLE MISS BUG thinks Andre Agassi has lost his sex appeal. And this affects the state of the world?

NEVER, NO NEVER admit to secretly oggling Shane MacGowan posters says The Daffodils who look lovely today.

SLICK RIC wants to know if Mr Men are going to be the next 'craze', No way, Jose. It's going to be The Wombles.

DOLORES O'RIORDAN'S BLACK EYELINER knows where Chesney Hawkes is - in Cheshire teaching archery. I think not.

Get rid of the chip Dippy Chick says

TRUE BLUE ABOUT LE TISSIER

 

EXPERIENCE WITH A SPIDER

As I switch off my light and climb out of bed, I see it move across the floor. My fears were confirmed when I saw the eight legged horror stop.

I grabbed a book and crept up to whack it but I missed. The spider then ran into my bedcovers. I looked for it but to no avail.

I kept thinking I could feel it going up my leg, but that was just my imagination, wasn't it?

This short story was brought to you by

RADIO FRIENDLY UNIT SHIFTER

 

A DISCOVERY

I have finally worked out where Oasis got their name from. They are named after the green foamy stuff flowers are arranged in.

I believe I am insulting the green foamy stuff, since one lump has more talent than the whole band.

I hope the group crumbles along with the unfortunate foam. I can't see why people like their 'music'.

Psychotic Penguin livin' on a chain gang

 

GOTH ESSENTIALS

  1. Eyeliner and black nail varnish
  2. Tight black jeans
  3. Sunblock
  4. Floodland by The Sisters of Mercy
  5. Skinny arms and legs
  6. Hairspray
  7. Sunglasses
  8. Crimpers
  9. Disintegration by The Cure
  10. Pet spider

Darkman's Sister

You can talk, you named yourself after

A HIGHLY ROPEY CHARACTER

 

A PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT POETRY

When I heard we'd lost our John,
I knelt and kissed the ground.
So happy to find he'd gone.
But after that I found,
His resignation's just a con.
When voting comes around,
He'll still be Tory Number One,
And we'll all be dole-bound.

The Village Idiot, London

Don't be so hard on yourself, besides

IT'S MY JOB TO BE RUDE

 

TO NORIEDG

Who cares if we're destroying the planet? I don't. As long as it lasts for another 80-odd years I'll be happy.

And before you all whinge and say "But what about out poor darling children?" I say "What about them?"

If you don't want your kids growing up in a polluted environment, don't have them. A solution so simple, it's scary.

The Ubiquitous Mr Lovegrove

 

DEAR 'ZINE

Why do people buy the commercial rubbish that is Sean Maguire records?

Big Turkey