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May 25, 1995

APACHE FALLING quotes that "The reason space is a vacuum is the earth sucks".

WORSHIP MARMITE and summer breezes says the Indie Ribena Fairy - Congrats you have found the Church of Marmite!

ANGEL HAIR asks: is it deja-vu or has Purple Day's Bible theory been heard somewhere before - like Red Dwarf?

FLORENCE AND VIOLET laugh at daft lyrics like "... Love myself better than you" - not so daft!

Dignity or Destiny loves Dan - sweet

BUT MAKE UP YOUR MIND WHO YOU ARE

 

TEN PEOPLE I HATE - TAKEN FROM A LIST OF 142

  1. Stuart Maconie (Radio 1 - Mondays, writes for Q, filled in for Mark Radcliffe once)
  2. Andi Peters
  3. Hugh Grant
  4. Simon Armitage - poet
  5. Anthea Lottery Turner
  6. All children's TV presenters
  7. Presenters of The Word
  8. Pat Sharp
  9. David Baddiel, sadly no longer funny
  10. Sock hats

Twiggy Twiggy, Magic Carpet Ride

 

BUS TURBULENCE

Recently, on boarding a bus, an elderly gentleman ground his walking stick into my foot and stood on my other foot.

On crowded buses I have been slapped with Adam Ant rulers and inadvertently chewed hockey sticks. Last week a woman at a bus stop told me she was 67.

I then sat behind a violent man who clubbed a wasp to death with an envelope. Still... cheaper than the cinema, eh?

Smiley Girl

Adam Ant rulers?

COLLECTOR'S ITEM

 

GIG REVIEW - TERRORVISION LIVERPOOL KRAZY HOUSE

What a crazy night! Joyrider were cool and the 'Vision were on top form. They actually sounded better than on CD.

Highlights included the exclusive performance of a new song and Tony baring his pierced nipples and making us repeat "zib, zib" noises.

I chatted to them afterwards and I'm still on a high!

Weirdo Magnet, Fired Up and Lairy

Zib, zib?

 

SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME GO "AAAARGH!"

Why, oh why do guys shout lewd comments at us girlies like "Get yer kit off!" and "How's about it darlin'?"

Now I don't have a complete sense of humour failure but it's just not funny and it sure ain't clever.

What are they trying to prove? It just emphasises what sad losers blokes can be. What's happened to all the nice guys?

Pizzy Kiss, On A Marshmallow

The Benny Hill type male never dies.

WHERE'S TANK GIRL WHEN YOU NEED HER

 

ROAD REALISATION

Too many selfish people are learning to drive and getting cars.

There are not enough miles of road for this to be allowed to happen.

The Government, who obviously don't give a damn about the environment, think the answer is to spend billions of pounds building even more roads.

Can no-one but me see how destructive this is?

Fanatatical Fee Mail