Mega-Zine
Icon

May 24, 1995

NICHOLAS LYNDHURST lovers are coming out of the woodwork - Bill Barratt wants to know where to write to him?!

THE BUD ADVERT is sung by Chester 'Howlin Wolf' Burnett and is called Smokestack Lightnin'. Ta Appreciator.

MRS LONELY got bitten by a Rottweiler and it also hurt. Never.

THOR'S a stonker says Putty to C Girl.

STANDARD GRADES says Rachel - read and weep media moppets.

Richard Herring is way better looking

SO SAITH CLAIRE THE PONDERER

 

BROOKSIDE VERSUS EASTENDERS

Brookside is so underrated they'd have to film Trevor Jordache sneezing after he died to get higher ratings.

It's obviously better than EastEnders with great storylines, more funny stuff and sorted accents.

EastEnders copied Brookie too with the lesbians. Soon Nigel will beat Debbie up and then he'll be stabbed and buried under a market stall.

Miss O

 

CONCERT REVIEW - TERRORVISION, BRIXTON

What can I say? Clever little me went too near the front and now I have bruises all over - but it was worth it!

My last night of freedom before GCSEs couldn't have been better. Oblivion and Pretend Best Friend were my favourite bits, coz everyone went mental and squashed me.

So after a great night of sweating and moshing, it's time to start revising.

Distraught Sweater, not called Jonas.

I'd say thou shalt not mosh, but you

SEEM TO THRIVE IN THE HIVE

 

THREE REASONS I LIKE BEING ILL

  1. You can breathe heavily at the dinner table and not have to apologise for it
  2. Your mum buys you loads of lozenges and after the tenth, you feel dizzy
  3. You can snog someone you really hate and give them a headache (because it is no fun having a headache)

Crushed Eyeliner.

It's at times like these you really love

YOUR MUM AND HER NURSEY TALENTS

 

INSPIRED BY 'I WANT TO BE YER LAVATORY'

I want to be your sock.
I know that you may mock.
That lovely smell,
That's straight from hell,
In your sock, I want to dock.

I want to be your sock,
Inside I want to rock.
It smells of cheese,
Me that would please,
But instead I am your clock.

Dirk's White Sox, Forbidden Planet.

That better be all your own work

BECAUSE IT'S GRRREEEAAAATTT...

 

SOME ANNOYING THINGS GIRLS DO

  1. Moan about boys leaving the loo seat up - but boys never moan about it being left down.
  2. Go to the toilet in pairs and spend ages in there.
  3. Make smarmy remarks when they're not interested in a boy.
  4. Spread gossip and bitch.
  5. Tell their friends things you wanted to be kept private.

Roulette boy.