Mega-Zine
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February 4, 1995

TO SLEEPFLOWER, WALES

Endless hours,
No peace in this mind.
In Slender Babe's heart,
True love you won't find.

I feel like I'm missing,
Pieces of sleep.
Your misguided love,
I'll eternally seek.

Stay beautiful.

Little Baby Nothing, Tennessee

Well, aint that sweet

SOMEONE LOVES YA

 

REASONS WHY I SUPPORT EVERTON

  1. They need all the support they can get
  2. I've supported them all my life
  3. Their ground is the best I've seen
  4. They play football
  5. They aren't Man Utd
  6. They've just bought Ferguson for £4 million
  7. It annoys the Liverpool supporters in school when we beat them
  8. My family have supported them for generations

Blades, Upper Bullens

 

UNREQUITED LOVE

This yearning for you tears me apart
There are no apples in my apple tart
You drown me by my torrential love
Down the lavatory my cat I shove

I live or die by your command
He he, I've hidden my thermometer in Morecombe Sands
I love you so much I hate you
I secretly fantasize about Scooby-Doo.

Anastasia Black and Lucille le Dark

Not happy about the cruelty to cats

A CAT APPRECIATION POEM IS REQUIRED!

 

A PLEA TO THE 'ZINE

Help!! We are under attack from the dreaded lip balm!

Every day I enter my tutor room I find the entire female population slapping a fingerful of the gunk onto their pouted lips.

Just once isn't enough. Oh no. They have to try every flavour. I only hope they've got a shovel big enough to scrape it all off afterwards.

A PMT Victimised Crusty

This is part of the school experience

DESIGNED TO KEEP BOYS WELL AWAY

 

A POEM

Why, oh why, oh why
No matter how hard I try

Won't my poems for Kate Cobain
Be shown so I'll obtain
A span of her attention
Which would be too good to mention

On the wing of a prayer maybe
She would then reply to me
And I'd act like a boy possessed
Because with Kate I am obsessed.

Obscure Indie Boy

There's just so much love on the 'Zine

HELPS YOU GET THROUGH THE DAY!

 

TEN WORST THINGS ABOUT MY JOB

  1. The low pay
  2. Having to be polite all the time
  3. Facing up
  4. Serving cigarettes
  5. Packing shelves
  6. Standing up for four hours
  7. People who won't pack their own bags
  8. People who can't mark their lottery tickets right
  9. People who haven't got enough money
  10. People who change their minds as you're serving them

The Welsh Wit, near Cardiff

Sounds like a drag

 

DEAR MEGA-ZINE

Am I honoured or ignorant? Upon my recent purchase of The Stone Roses' Second Coming, my CD player displayed 99 tracks.

I ignored this as my temperamental machine is fond of doing irritating things like that.

Forgetting to turn it off after Love Spreads it skipped to 90 and proceeded to play a mystery song involving violins and a lot of coughing.

A Confused Electric Wire Stripper