Mega-Zine
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January 30, 1995

TOP FIVE FOODS

  1. Lasagne
  2. Jam doughnuts
  3. Bananas
  4. Steaks (sorry)
  5. Creme eggs

TOP FIVE COMMERCIAL WARS

  1. Coca-cola v Pepsi
  2. Nintendo v Sega
  3. Mercury v British Telecom
  4. Virgin v British Airways
  5. Rodger the Dodger v Rodger the Codger

DJ Daza, Moomington

Not a very healthy diet, Daza

BUT LIKED THE CARTOONS YOU SENT IN

 

TO TAKE THAT FANS PLANNING TO PROTEST OUTSIDE THE BRITS AWARD CEREMONY

I'll try to make this as simple as I can, so you can understand it.

Now, to be eligible for a Brit award you must have brought out an album in 1994. Well, Take That didn't, did they?

It's not a declaration of their failure but merely abiding by the rules.

Anyway it's about time Portishead, Blur and Oasis got the recognition they deserve.

Someone Like The Moon, Up In The Sky

 

TOP TEN PHRASES FROM OUR SCHOOL REPORTS

  1. "Overdeveloped sense of competition"
  2. "Narcoleptic tendencies"
  3. "Arrogant"
  4. "Unsettling influence on her classmates"
  5. "Megalomaniac"
  6. "Pathological cheat"
  7. "Alarmingly intense child"
  8. "Unusual series of hair colours"
  9. "Unable to cooperate in group work"
  10. "Social deviant"

Anastasia Black, Lucille Le Dark

Creativity and talent are rarely

APPRECIATED IN SUCH INSTITUTIONS

 

STAND PROUD

I am hated by the masses
I am hated by the few.
I am hated because my looks
Are not the same as you.

Some people call me ugly,
Tell me that I can never win.
Stand against the intolerant
lie Ugliness is not a sin.

The Light From Within

We love you, ignore everyone else

 

REPLY TO ALL SAD 'ZINESTERS

"Dear 'Zine, I am really sad, girls/boys don't like me." Is this not a common moan on 'Zine lately?

If I wanted to read about sad, lonely people's problems I would read problem pages or join the Samaritans.

Cheer up Mistress Of Misery. I eat meat and don't care. Girls do only support Man Utd for Ryan Giggs, and Take That are rubbish.

The Regulator, Birmingham

A little harsh methinks

 

'ZINERS

Who on earth dresses Paul Bradley (Nigel from Eastenders)?

Because I like their taste.

Quick Mick

Quick Mick, open your eyes

LACK OF TASTE CAN BE FATAL!

 

TEN MORRISSEY MOMENTS

  1. Inspirational lyrics
  2. Floppy flowers
  3. Quiffy hairdo
  4. Unique singing voice
  5. Dancer rubber bod ahoy!
  6. Mysterious
  7. Film star presence
  8. Funny (yes!)
  9. Hurry up the shows in February!
  10. Big Mouth (har de har!)

Lucy The Consumer, London Loony Land