The Mega-Zine Museum
January 10, 1995
REPLY TO THE MISTRESS OF MISERY
Your hopes gone, your dreams dead,
Loneliness, that's why you cried,
A shot in the dark, you wrote to 'Zine,
Someone loves you, know what I mean?
The 'Zine's a family of love and hate,
For your reply, I can't wait!
Poem Boy
After a long break, I'm back for '95!
Welcome back, PB
SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO SOMETHING?
A SPELLCHECK SUPERGROUP
- Leafy Krait - Lenny Kravitz
- Feel Codlins - Phil Collins
- Erica Clarion - Eric Clapton
- Bark - Bjork
- Flatworm Mac - Fleetwood Mac
- Dive Board - David Bowie
- Lynch Skinned - Lynyrd Skynyrd
- Trace Chairman - Tracey Chapman
- Jammy Handrinse - Jimi Hendrix
- Total Trash - Take That!
Dirty Harry
DEAR 'ZINE
I am writing in to support PJ and Duncan. How dare anyone slag them off?
They have become extremely famous and I think they are far better than Let Loose, EYC and Take That.
They call themselves "bands" when they are just a bunch of prats prancing around for the good of their health and amusement, but nobody else's.
A major PJ and Duncan fan
So PJ+D don't "prance around" then?
ARE THEY REALLY "EXTREMELY FAMOUS"?
TO KATE COBAIN
So, feminists want to change the name of Big Ben to Big Bet? In which tabloid did you read that?
Why shouldn't feminists want equality and the right to complain about offensive remarks?
I'd rather be "politically correct" than a fascist like you.
A non man-hating feminist
PS How dare you insult the Cobain name?
DEAR MEGA-ZINE,
Snow White comes home to find the seven dwarfs' cottage ablaze. Tiny bodies litter the ground.
But then she hears a little voice crying: "Blackburn for the title! Blackburn for the championship!"
"Well", she sighed, "At least Dopey's still alive!"
A Man, Chester, United fan
Who'll be laughing in May?
REPLY TO ANGRY PERSON, PERU
Anyone can support a football team - there's no rule book.
To be a true supporter you need to be loyal and stick with your team through thick and thin.
Real fans have no time for people who change teams when the going gets tough. And it helps if you live near your team Man U "fans" take note.
Suzanne, Ray's blue and white army
Maybe you should go to some games too?
WHAT MAKES A TRUE SUPPORTER?
2 'ZINE
Has anybody seen Sleepless In Seattle? I want that to happen to me. I want to fall in love like that.
Okay, so it's only a film, but who knows what could happen if I'm RSVPd at the 'Zine by the man of my dreams?
I've got blonde hair, blue eyes, and I ain't no supermodel - just an average kind of girl with a dream.
The next Meg Ryan
