The Mega-Zine Museum
September 23, 1994
TOP TEN THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE
- Meet Julian Clary
- Get rid of narrow-mindedness
- Go to Russia
- Snog Dave Vanian
- Buy a Gothic castle overlooking a graveyard
- Meet Pete Burns
- Have Dave Vanian's children
- Move to London
- Meet Boy George
- Make everyone realise Goth isn't dead
Sex Vampiress, Church Of No Return
Isn't Dave dead yet?
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO RAT SCABIES?
DEAR 'ZINE
Just who does Goddard think he is giving Sugar a bad review? How can he say (roughly) that Sugar are joining Oasis as another sad band?
How can he say this about a band (Oasis) who have sold millions of their debut album in the first week?!
Has he gone insane or has he the personality of a spit-drenched rag? I think the latter.
Marmalade, Magic America
You've done it now - Pauly's crying!
STOP THIS SENSELESS ABUSE!!
YO 'ZINESTERS!
We are witnessing the decline of Take That. I don't know any Take That fans over 13 years old anymore.
But the actual proof lies on p623 - Take That still has places at their concert for next week!
Fear not, teeny band haters, you have not much longer to wait to experience paradise. Pain-free music.
Kent Judgester
Who'll take their place? Whigfield??
WILL CLIFF RICHARD EVER RISE AGAIN?
TOP TEN SONGS TO KICK LIFE INTO A TAKE THAT PARTY
- Teethgrinder / Therapy?
- Temple Of Love / Sisters of Mercy
- Pretend We're Dead / L7
- Cowboys From Hell / Pantera
- Snap Your Fingers... / Prong
- Free 'n' Easy / The Almighty
- Sex Type Thing / Stone Temple Pilots
- Head Like A Hole / Nine Inch Nails
- Painkiller / Judas Priest
- Quiet / Smashing Pumpkins
Hate Rave Dave, South of Heaven
Or to kick every TT fan out!
DEAR ME, FROM HERE
A most imaginative name which deserves major credit (I don't think!)
We have a little message for you - anyone who loves those five pathetic figures of men who have less talent in their entire body than Bod does in his little finger needs Therapy?
And can we just point out that you cannot, shall not and will not ever be Queen of the 'Zine.
2 Rockin' Goddesses
The throne is most jealously guarded!
YEAH - WHO'LL BE THIS YEAR'S QUEEN??
TOP NINE WORST SMELLS
- Cow pats
- Ear wax
- Cheesy feet
- Sewage
- BO
- Old Spice
- Diarrhoea
- Belly button fluff
- Bad breath
Mark Owen's Taste Buds
Mark Owen has all those smells?!?
