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August 11, 1994

ALBUM REVIEW: Seal - by Seal

Is it my imagination or is this the SECOND self-titled album he's brought out?

Well, how are we meant to tell them apart?

Say you were in a record shop looking for a copy of "Seal". Which one would you choose? How would you know which was which?

Oh, by the way, it's a good album.

The Muse (the NEW queen of the zine)

You could call it "Seal 1994"

 

WATCHING

Wasn't it great to see Jarvis Cocker shine above pretentious musicians like Desree and Patric on Pop Quiz?

Quality musicians like Jarvis know their stuff; cheap and nasties like Desree don't.

Quality artists have done their apprenticeships and draw their ideas from a wide variety of sources. Desree on the other hand got where she is on the basis of a pose and a quick listen to a soul album.

Morrissey, Exposing Shames.

Nothing like serving your time, eh

 

HUMBER CRUNCHER

In response to The Alien; OK, there are only so many sounds you can make with a guitar and a set of drums. But have you ever tried to get real human emotion out of a computer?

Rock music is for real people with real feelings.

I'd rather listen to a pneumatic drill than a dumb computer. Says a lot for the people who listen to this stuff.

Roachford's Shade of Blue, Hull

A silicon chip on your shoulder?

 

10 LURVE GODS WITH LUSCIOUS LONG LOCKS

  1. Eddie Vedder
  2. Tony Wright
  3. Whitfield Crane
  4. Andre Agassi
  5. Nick Watts
  6. Anthony Keidis
  7. Max Cavalera
  8. Crusty in Croydon
  9. Slash
  10. Lenny Kravitz

Mad Dawg and Angry Maniac, London

Hair today, gone tomorrow?

 

SUBJECT TO THE SELECTION COMMITTEE

Dear 'Zine

What should I write to get on the 'Zine - slag of TT, E17 or rave, "become" the queen of 'Zine, write a poem, write a top 10 of breakfast cereals, suck up to WLW?

I could always say I love Manic Street Preachers, Nicky Wire is beautiful, Richey is a wonderful poet. But honesty isn't always the best policy.

Confused? You will be.

Town Cryer, Despairsville

The back door's as good as the front

 

SOME MISHEARD LYRICS

1 - Sting: They Dance Alone
"We'll sing our freedom" became "We'll sling our feet up".

2 - Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody
"Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me" became "Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard".

3 - Crowded House: Mean To Me
"The Sound of Te Awumutu" became "the sound of tiara boob-tube".

Tammy Baker, Kare Kare

Send three-and-fourpence, quick