The Mega-Zine Museum
May 23, 1994
REPLY TO ALTERNATIVE ANDY
You think you're superior to TT fans, but you don't realise that most "alternative rock" is merely dire heavy metal under a different name. It's you that's sad, you hopeless misogynist.
By the way, I'm not a teenager or a girl and my other tastes include Brian Eno, Miles Davis and early Zappa, so don't try to pigeon hole me, sad boy!
The Dancing Queen, Round Midnight
Ooooo-er! What do you say, Andy?
FOOTIE REVIEW: FA CUP FINAL MAN UTD 4 - CHELSEA 0
This result doesn't do Chelsea justice. At half time it was 0-0, but it all changed after two penalties given to Man U - the first undisputable, the second a little dodgy.
Man Utd are the sixth team to win the elusive double, which just proves their excellence - although Chelsea didn't deserve to get a 4-0 thrashing.
Kanchelskis' Greatest Admirer
Top player. Well cute.
DEAR 'ZINE,
I didn't bother labelling my envelope 'cos this theme stuff is a stupid idea. One of the reasons most people read the 'Zine is because it has variety.
Why change something good? A good idea is to ban all the metalhead top tens to make the 'Zine totally freak free.
All they're interested in is putting down ravers to act hard. I rest my case.
The Raving Opiate, Fantazia
So... no metal - all rave? VARIETY?!?
DON'T STOP! WE LOVE ALL FREAKS!!
DEAR 'ZINE,
Now, people. Those who write in saying 'we must talk about important world issues on the 'Zine', don't you see? The 'Zine is supposed to be light, an escape from our troubles.
Sure, a heavy letter once in a while, but let's not become doom and gloom.
The 'Zine is funny, sad and happy all at the same time. You'd miss petty arguments if they were gone!
King of the Potato People, Notts
Um... I thought this WAS important...!?
RECIPE FOR SUCCESS
- 1 Blind Melon
- 1 jar of Pearl Jam
- 1 pot Mudhoney
- Some Cranberries
- 2 Lemonheads
- Some Red Hot Chili Peppers
INSTRUCTIONS
Blend together and put in a soundproof recording studio.
Wait a couple of months for a magnificent album!
Joshua, in His Tree
I've had it with food names for bands!
TOP TEN WORST ACTRESSES
- Shannen "Drop 'Em" Doherty
- Joanna "Not Classy" Lumley
- Whoopi "Wild Hair" Goldberg
- Catherine "Kiss Me Quick" Zeta-Jones
- Gillian "AHEM!" Taylforth
- Julie "I Can't See My Cue" Andrews
- Pam "Lost Me Frank" St Clements
- Wendy "Get A Life" Richard
- Susan "Shoot Me" Tully
- Nicole "Summer's Out" Eggert
A West End Man
How DARE you slag off 'Enders??!
