Mega-Zine
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March 29, 1994

DEAR 'ZINE,

As law enforcer of the 'Zine, I feel it is my duty to take issue with Blackadder V.

The 'Zine happens to be on my manor, and if he decides to muscle in in a takeover war, then I could be forced to unleash my Magnum 4½ - the most powerful peashooter in the world!

Blackadder V? Pah - more like Queenie!

Dirty Harry, Hertfordshire

Blackadder - we await your response!

 

TOP TEN OVERDUE REVIVALS

  1. Ska/Skinhead Reggae
  2. Portsmouth Football Club
  3. Harrington Jackets
  4. Wagon Wheels
  5. England v Scotland football matches
  6. Tiswas
  7. Fred Perry polo shirt
  8. Subbuteo football
  9. A Labour government
  10. Carry On-style comedy

The Liquidator, Portsmouth

Whatever happened to Spit the dog?

 

MEGA-ZINE, OH MEGA-ZINE...

You're so blinkered, I could scream.
You kiss the feet of Indie freaks
And slay all pop before it speaks.

"Opinions count" - well that's a joke,
All views must side with the white line bloke,
When "Indie's great" and "Pop is sin",
It's a wonder I bother writing in!

But I will, 'cos you know in your hearts
That without pop music, there'd be no charts.

The Watford Lass

The white line bloke's a gal!!!

 

ALBUM REVIEW: NKOTB - "FACE THE MUSIC"

The album sees NKOTB experimenting with a new groovier sound. You Got The Flavor and Dirty Dawg reflect the hip hop and dance side of Face The Music.

The ballads are there, I'll Still Be Loving You and Can't Believe It's Over are sure to become fan favourites.

Give it a listen, you'll be surprised!

J Johnson, Essex

Hmmm, not sure I will...

 

SPOTTER'S GUIDE TO TEENYBOPPER RAVERS

  1. They are 12 plus
  2. They "say" they "support" Manchester United when in fact they don't know a single player - except Ryan Giggs.
  3. They only know the chorus to the latest Take That song
  4. They wear the sort of clothes you can fit the whole of Scotland into
  5. They hang round in bunches like a herd of sheep

The Dead Poets Society
PS We want Virgin 1215 in FM

Cruel - but oh, so true

 

DEAR 'ZINE

In answer to "Bono's trusty servant", I would like to point out that in their first four years, U2 had six hits.

BUT! Blur have had seven hits, Inspiral Carpets ten hits and the Manic Street Preachers have had eleven. All these bands got recording contracts about three to four years ago.

Let's see who are non-important in ten years time.

Yurga, the Yurt Dweller

We await with trepidation...