Mega-Zine
Icon

January 28, 1994

TOP FIVE PRISONER CELL BLOCK H QUOTES

  1. Trapp would not have the brain of a retarded sparrow
  2. There she was hanging like a soap on a rope
  3. He's like Miss Ferguson sexually... Oh you mean he likes women
  4. Keep your mouth shut or I'll blow your face away
  5. The old bag who talks all the time is Lizzie

Screwbaiter, Cell 4, East Wing, H Block Wentworth Detention Centre

The soap stars training ground!

 

MY TOP TEN MOST BITEABLE MEN!

  1. Wayne Hussey (The Mission)
  2. Simon Hinkler (ex-Mission)
  3. Carl McCoy (Fields of Nephelim)
  4. Andrew Eldritch (Sisters of Mercy)
  5. Robert Smith (The Cure)
  6. Gary Oldman (as Dracula)
  7. Julian Sands (in Tale of a Vampire)
  8. Stuart Staples (Tindersticks)
  9. Rob Newman
  10. Kiefer Sutherland (in Lost Boys)

The Vampire Vaniana Ruthven

Gnash! Gnash! Gnash!

 

Dear Mega-zine,

I am a Fascist dictator, hence the way I am writing to you. My opinion is the be all and end all of the music industry. Anyone who begs to differ has no taste.

No-one is allowed their own opinion, except me. It would be a sorry world if we were all individuals, wouldn't it?

There'd be nothing stupid to argue over and, God forbid, no Mega-zine!

Sarah the sarcastic

There's nothing like a generalisation!

 

Dear Mega-zine,

Let's face it, if TT fans only liked TT for their music, then perhaps we would all have greater respect for them.

Unfortunately, the majority of TT fans are brainless pre-pubescent 'sharons' who only like the band for their looks.

Anyway, this is beside the point. TT music is dire and is only written to appeal to girls who are silly and naive enough to believe the band cares for them.

One grunge man

Take that, Take That fans!

 

TOP TEN INDIE LABELS

  1. Fiction
  2. China
  3. Hut
  4. Nude
  5. Furtive
  6. Playtime
  7. Creation
  8. Deceptive
  9. Waldorf
  10. Food

20 Headed-Monster, Brighton

So what about the bands?

 

TOP TEN FILMS

  1. The Last of the Mohicans
  2. Edward Scissorhands
  3. A Room with a View
  4. Withnail and I
  5. Brazil
  6. Time Bandits
  7. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
  8. Dead Poets' Society
  9. Wild at Heart
  10. Rowing with the Wind

Bunbury

So where's Sliver?